Why Women want to Change their Husbands
November 5, 2015
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Why Women want to Change their Husbands

By Oghenefego Ofili
When the honeymoon is coming to an end and the reality of marriage begins to heal the blindness associated with the adage ‘love is blind’, the common occurrence is that there is an increasing desire for change in a spouse. That is when you hear statements like ‘you do not have to talk all the time, you need to start exercising, you eat too much, you spend too much money on clothes, do you have to sing so loudly in the bathroom, must we go out on a date every weekend, you watch too much TV, etc.

Most times, these statements do not come across as suggestions, comments or corrections to many of us; in most cases they are given the nagging tag. Paying attention to details suddenly becomes a skill for some women, and if not put in check can lead to the slow deterioration of a beautiful relationship. Here are some reasons I think women want to change their husbands.

Blindness before marriage: Truth be told, many women suffer from the ‘love is blind’ syndrome before they get married. They overlook so many things; they are careless about their values and are carried away by the euphoria of love and loving. They paid little or no attention to the day to day reality of living with the guy, all they envisioned was a beautiful and perfect wedding CEREMONY.

Desperation to marry: The silent competitor in every woman keeps pushing her to marry, no matter who the guy is, provided he can foot the bills. The myths that go with getting married before 30 makes matters worse and drives some women to the point of desperation. They pay little attention to knowing the personality and core values of the man they intend to marry.

Comparison infection: Women listen a lot and are affected by what they hear. Immediately a woman feels her husband is not living up to expectation and starts comparing him with her friend’s husband, her father or Ex, she begins to engineer strategies to ‘straighten him up’ to fit her ideal image.

The truth is we cannot change any human being. I have come to realize that life will be so boring if everyone in my household behaved exactly like me. Our diversity should add color to our lives; not pain, dissatisfaction or regret.
You can find a way to enjoy the differences between you and your spouse. Laugh about them when you can, tease each other about them; let these differences strengthen our marriage bond, not the opposite.

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